Boundaries & Non-Negotiables

A boundary is a personal rule or guideline that defines what kind of behavior you deem acceptable or unacceptable from others towards you. Boundaries can apply to various areas of life, such as emotional, physical, mental, or even digital spaces, and they can protect your well-being, autonomy, and self-respect. Boundaries can be flexible, depending on your comfort level and the context in which they are set.

A non-negotiable, on the other hand, is a principle, standard, or requirement that you are not willing to compromise or negotiate on, under any circumstances. Non-negotiables, often rooted in your core values, serve as a critical guide in decision-making processes, helping you uphold your values and stay true to yourself.

While boundaries and non-negotiables are distinct concepts, they often intertwine. Your non-negotiables often inform your boundaries. 

For instance, if a non-negotiable for you is respect in all interactions, then a boundary might be not tolerating disrespectful language or behavior from others in any circumstance.

Establishing clear boundaries based on your non-negotiables is essential for maintaining a sense of self, promoting healthy relationships, and leading a fulfilling life.

Check out this activity from my “Boundaries” workbook - it is designed to assist you in discovering and enforcing your personal boundaries and non-negotiables.

Step 1: Brainstorming

Begin by brainstorming potential boundaries and non-negotiables in different areas of your life, such as personal, professional, and relational domains. Think about what you absolutely will not compromise on and jot it down without overthinking.

Step 2: Reflection

Reflect on each potential boundary or non-negotiable. 

• Why is it important to you?

• What happens when this boundary is crossed or this non-negotiable is compromised?

• How does it impact you emotionally, physically, and mentally?

Step 3: Categorization

Categorize your boundaries and non-negotiables.

For example, they could fall under personal (self-care, personal space), professional (work ethic, work-life balance), or relational (communication style, relationship expectations). 

This can help you see patterns and understand how your boundaries and non-negotiables play out in different areas of your life.

Step 4: Prioritization

Prioritize your boundaries and non-negotiables within each category. This exercise will clarify what is most important to you and can provide insight when making decisions that involve potential compromises.

Step 5: Validation

Revisit your list and validate that these truly are your boundaries and non-negotiables, uninfluenced by societal expectations or pressures from others. They should resonate with who you truly are.

Step 6: Visualization

Create a visual representation of your boundaries and non-negotiables. 

This could be a mind map, vision board, or a list in your planner. 

Keep it somewhere where you will see it often as a daily reminder.

How do these boundaries and non-negotiables align with your core values?

Understanding and asserting your boundaries and non-negotiables is a journey of self-discovery and self-respect. 

Take this journey at your own pace and be kind to yourself in the process.

Are you interested in the full workbook series? Book a call with me to talk about it!